Real?

Where did you come from? I don't know why you would fall for a girl like me and treat me like a queen. I can't believe how lucky I am to have found you. No, you are not what I expected and I was hesitant at first but, I know that you will love me forever just as I will love you always. I can't believe this is happening to me. Is this real?

My own decision

So what if people tell me that they do not approve of my choices. I am capable of making my own decisions and if they don't agree with them then they can deal with it. I am in love with someone I know will take care of me and I know that I can tell him anything and I can be myself. He makes me laugh and feel safe. He treats me so well. If others can't see how right he is for me, that is their own problem. I love him.

Chuck-o-Rama

I have never met anyone who treats me better than Ralph. He not only treats me with respect he also treats my family with a bunch of respect and everyone else. It is so refreshing! Today my adventure of the day was going to chuck-o-rama with Ralph, Stephanie and Nathan. We ate a whole bunch and then we went to the mall and looked at stuff. I had an amazing time and I was so happy.

trust

Trust is so important to me. I lost someone who I loved very much because I lost his trust because I played to his emotions instead of being honest. It is so hard for me to tell someone exactly how I am feeling. I try my  hardest to explain but sometimes it comes out all wrong. It has been a really frustrating weakness until I met Ralph. I can usually tell him exactly what I am thinking and how I feel. It is so easy to be real around him, but when it seems like everyone who I talk to thinks that I am faking it and that I don't really love him because I am just using him as a rebound, it makes me MAD! The one time when I feel like I don't have to pretend around a guy no one believes that it is real. Someone Believe me please! Trust me.

comparison

Comparison. Why do I feel the need to always compare myself to others? Why do I get down on myself when I can't have the same gifts as someone else? Why does it seem like everyone likes her more than me? Why can't I be her? Why can't I look like a model and have a million friends and have everyone love me and date anyone? Why am I me? Where is my confidence in myself? She has confidence. Trust God. That's all that I can do. He made me with my flaws for a reason and he made her strengths for a reason. Trust. He does not compare. He only love. Loves me with my flaws. He loves her but he loves each child individually. He loves me too. There is no comparison. 

Angel

It hurts when you give your heart and trust to someone and they end up leaving you in pain with a torn up heart. But as much as that hurt it can be mended. It only takes someone to listen and to care. It takes someone with the guts to not judge but to teach. It takes an angel. I found mine.

Oh No!

I have way too much going on! It is the end of the school year and I am so stressed with tests and work and homework! I need help. Do you ever get the feeling that no matter what you do you alway have something else that needs to be done? well that is how I feel now :( I don't think I can take much more. At least I finaly finished my huge english paper :) that makes me feel so much better. I cant wait untin school is over.

Pride

I am so stressed out right now. I have an English paper that is not coming to me. I don't know how to motivate myself to do it. Also, I am stressed because the two people who mean the most to me in the world are both being so stubborn! They both think that the other person is dis-respecting me. They don't know each other and they wont give into their pride to find a way to work it out. It is tearing me down. Both of them thinks its the other persons fault and they are not doing anything wrong. Lets just say, not everyone is perfect but letting go of ones pride is a step closer to perfection. It doesn't matter who is right, all that matters is who is doing the right thing by letting it go and learning how to love the other person no matter what. I love you both so much and I am not going to choose one of you when I can have both, but, that will take some effort from you.

I don't really have much time to write. I am so tired! I have spent so much time with my boyfriend school and work. My adventures happen so fast that I don't have enough time to write about them. I have been going through a hard time because I have been so stressed out over school and my Josh. Well I need to go I will write more when I actually have time.

Sorry I haven't written for a while, I have been spending all my spare time with my Josh. Today my adventure was looking for a car because my other car is dying :( anyway Josh and I went to look for cars today. I didn't find anything but it was a lot of fun. Sorry my adventure is not really exciting but I can't tell about all my adventures right now because I am so tired.

ha! I was reading my post and I think I might have to change the title of my blog to ny adventures with Josh :)

Homework Party!

Its pretty amazing when my adventure of the day is doing homework with my most favorite guy in the entire world! :)

My adventure today was small but wonderful. I not only got to learn a lot about my boyfriend Josh, I also learned some things about myself. I think the more I know Josh, I discover more about myself. It is pretty awesome that something as little as talking and trying to understand someone else can become a great adventure. I hope to have a similar adventure every day. I want to understand and learn about people including myself. Who am I really?

Hum, Valentines day. Why is it that I almost always end up in tears on valentines day? No, the answer is not "I don't have a boy" because even though I had a boy I still ended up in tears. My man is amazing, don't get me wrong, but he tends to say things that is not very nice and today I just could not handle it. However, I learned a few things from tonight. One, he really does care about me he just doesn't think about what he says sometimes. Two, he can put up with the bad side of me. Three, there is so much that I don't know about him and I want to know him even more. He is a wonderful person, just very blunt and honest.

Adventure with friends

Today was great! I Hung out with a super awesome guy today and then I got to see my best friend in the entire world! Bryanne! We roasted hotdogs at the river wood mall and it was awesome. and then went to a smell goody lotion and spray yummy store and sniffed all the try me things and then we decided to make our body scrub stuff at Bryanne's house and then we watched veggie tails. I am so tired and cant think straight. Good night.

Today I had two tests and I did really bad on one of them. After my tests I went laser tagging with my boyfriend Josh and his friends. I felt really out of place with everyone. I did have fun but I felt cut off from the group. I do not like not being a part of a group. I felt so alone and I wanted to hide somewhere and cry. Josh is so outgoing and I am just quite. I don't know what people want to talk about. They were all talking about past incidents that I was not a part of. They would talk about movies that I have never seen. Why am I so bad at being with people when the thing I fear the most is being alone? I am not the kind of person who can just be the center of attention. I am so upset with myself! why am I so ridiculously retarded? What talents do I have? Am I worth anything? Josh deserved better. He deserves one of those hot chicks from his ward who are fun and exciting. Better than me.

I met the most amazing guy only a week ago. We went on an awesome date, Divine comedy. I have seen him everyday after that. I cannot believe how fast I have fallen for this guy! I am so happy.

Today we had two subs at work. One was really annoying and the other was a super sweet guy named Josh. My adventure today was Josh asking me on a date. I am so happy! I haven't been on another date with a guy besides Zack ever since I started dating Zack.

I had quite the adventure today. I got invited to go swimming with my ex-boyfriend, Zack, so I skipped my classes and drove to the Lehi Rex center in the snow. Now what you need to realize is that my car is pathetic when it comes to driving in weather. We got lost so we stopped at a random store to ask for directions. I looked ridiculous wearing a swimming suit and a towel in the middle of a snow storm but we found out where we were going and got there safely. I had so much fun at the pool but on the way home I didn't move fast enough so the car behind me honked and then passed me on a one lane road. Then he stopped right in front of me so I had to pass him and he flipped me off. Not nice. OH WELL! After that I was trying to drop Zack off at his house and my car kept slipping down and I was like "OH OH OH!" and Zack was like "You are not going to make it! But I totally made it up the hill! I had so much fun today. I am grateful for my Zack and his family.

My Adventure for Today

work was not fun today
I almost had an issue
nothing happened after work
I sat around and did nothing
I went to my sign language class
I made a new friend
I also saw old friends
from my old sign language class
I really like my classes
and my new teachers
My top adventure for today
I cannot write
because of student/teacher confidentiality
Oh and I got to talk to my aunt
where is she living now?
Alaska
Skype is awesome
My sister Heather is a dork